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Make me feel good…

How many of you are stressed, tired and just feeling sad?  I remember being there.  Surrounded by friends, having an active social life, but being exhausted and stressed and feeling like something was missing.  That is when I decided to leave the U.S. to find out what that “something” was.  It wasn’t until I found Tantra, that I began to feel more complete, at peace and happy.   

“Man.
Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present;
the result being that he does not live in the present or the future;
he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

– The 14th Dalai Lama

In my journey throughout the world searching for that something and in finding Tantra, I discovered some key things that lead to happiness.  I would like to share with you the 8 key principles to finding happiness:    

1. Let go of expectations – It is better to set intention for what you want but then let go of the idea that it has to be exactly this way or that way.  if you are attached to an expectation then you may miss out on something better.  Another example, if you say I can’t be happy unless something is this way then you are eliminating all other possibilities of happiness. I invite you think of where in your life you can you let go of expectations. Be specific.
2. Create purpose from experiences- learn the lessons and see the positive light or divine. In Tantra we do an exercise called Trattak in which you stare in the eyes of someone else to see the divine in them which is also in you.  The goal is to carry that in all areas of your life.  So, even when something goes wrong, how can you see the divine, thus giving a purpose or meaning to that experience.  Ask yourself: “What can I do with this situation in order to create meaning?”  Turn a curse into a blessing.
3. Appreciate the little things. An example of this is saying: “I get to go to work” instead of complaining about going to work.  Showing gratitude in everything.  The higher level of gratitude you have the higher level of happiness you have.
4. Be present – not thinking about future or past, for example you are stuck in traffic.  Instead of complaining and thinking that you are going to be late for an appointment, take this time to be present and listen to your music, observe nature – clouds, trees, etc.  Enjoy that time and be thankful you have a car and are able to go places.  You might as well enjoy the ride.  Getting angry or frustrated won’t get you there any faster and will only cause stress which leads to health problems.  It is a proven fact that the more time you are in the here and now, the happier you are.
5. Develop intimate relationships – intimate closeness with family, friends or your partner. Think about how your attitude affects others and on the flip side, you can choose to stay away from negative people who are always complaining and miserable which will affect you.  So taking responsibility for how we affect others and how we allow others to affect us.   Tantra has been a great way to help with building intimacy and stronger connections.
6. Have a spiritual path – It could be stargazing, tree-hugging, religious or spiritual, or something that gives meaning to life.
7. Accept you-accept where you are at, and make peace with yourself,  forgive yourself.  Know that wherever you are right now is ok, it is where you need to be.  As you enlighten yourself, you enlighten your relationship.  A happier you makes for a happier relationship.
8. Touch more- go ahead, be touchy feely.  It is a fact that the longer you hug and the more you touch or are touched the oxytocin (feel good hormone) and dopamine levels increase which means decreased pain and feeling nice. 

Bonus for the couples:  Start hugging and touching each other more.  You will start to form connecting bonds which will make you like each other more and feel better. 

So I ask you:  “What does happiness mean to you? What does happiness look like in a relationship?”  Please feel free to share your thoughts or if you have anything to add on how to be happy I am willing to learn. 

If you want to learn more feel free to contact me for Coaching.